All I need are hot pants

17 Jan

OK, this is hilarious. While going through emails this morning I found a Groupon in my inbox for “Weightloss Hot Pants”. I almost choked on my green smoothie!! I mean hell, I’m drinking this green smoothie in order to keep wight off and all I need to do is wear some Hot Pants???

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I’m sorry but what the hell are these things? And furthermore at my age I don’t need to wear ANY hotpants! Once 40 hit and the naturally tight thighs left (well that was around 30) I needed to shed the hot pants. Hot Pants should be reserved for, hmmmm, no one! Well, little stick chicks with tight everything (under the age of 35) and innocent 10 year olds who haven’t even developed yet.

These hot pants aren’t like the Daisy Dukes

Remember her? She had NO BOOTY so, she was able to wear the hot pants.

The funniest thing is that the Hot Pants are suppose to help you lose weight. Damn! Clothes with infrared technology can get rid of the cellulite that I worked 40 years and three kids to get. Can I just get this stuff  in my jeans and sweats? Maybe I can get rich and design those. Then, I’ll go on Shark Tank and then I wouldn’t need to work out or drink this green smoothie.

Let me go, I need to order these things.

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